I wrote a really short personal narrative that I’d like to share with you. It’s about when my car broke down one time in the school parking lot.
Yesterday, when I was leaving the school parking lot my car could go forward, but not backward. Then, all of a sudden, it worked! I drove out of the parking lot and down the street. Then, it made an odd noise and it stopped, right in the middle of the road. I quickly called for a tow truck.
Now. Look at this next one. It is the same story, but I added in my reactions and feelings. See if you can notice what is different about the writing of this small moment.
Yesterday, when I was leaving the school parking lot, I noticed my car was acting strangely. It could go forward, but not backward. I was worried. Then, all of a sudden, it worked! I drove out of the parking lot and down the street. What a relief! Then, it made an odd noise. Thump! It stopped, right in the middle of the road. I was so upset, I thought I might cry. “What am I going to do now?” I thought. I quickly called for a tow truck.
Assignment:
I want you to think about including character feelings and reactions in your writing. Remember that in order to get the highest score possible for a narrative, you need to have these types of character reactions and feelings. Retell a small moment paying close attention to character reactions and feelings.
Here is a student example from last year that earned full credit:
(I put her character reactions in bold)
brittany S. room 304 said...
Five years ago, I was helping my mom get ready for the Fourth of July. I was so excited that time was already here. We all knew that my uncle was really sick but we thought he was going to pull through because he was so strong and determined. I was happy that he might get better but I was also sad that he was sick and couldn't be here for the Fourth of July. I still kept my hopes up. Then as we were going to bed the hospital called and said that there was a drastic change and that he was doing better. I was so relieved. Then we all went to bed and we were just excited that he was doing better and that he might come around. Then just as we were going to bed and falling asleep we got another call from the hospital saying that he was doing really bad and that he might die tonight. After that we didn't sleep at all we just stayed up.I was so sad and was thinking of the worst. Then a couple hours later we got a call that he passed away. I was so sad that I started to cry, but yet I smiled because I knew that he wasn't suffering anymore. We knew that he was in a place far better than the place he was in.
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It was the end of autumn when my cousin passed away. Though we never talked much I really felt like it was the worst thing that ever happened. He was barely 19. My mom was crying when she got the phone call. He was run over on the freeway by three cars. Then a trailer driver swerved to stop people from going over his body even more. It almost cost him his life. I was crying, my mom was going to visit my cousins, aunts, and uncles, even my grandparents were there. It was a tragedy because he was never a bad person; he just followed what other people did. He died trying to cross the freeway to tag a wall or something like that when his friends ditched him. My cousin who is a police officer and was patrolling that area, saw him and immediately started dialing. She started crying and then she called my uncle. My aunt wanted to die with him and my uncle got mad because she wanted to overdose herself with pills. He was about to be 20, but if it weren’t for his friends he would have lived. They both say that they were never there because they left home before he got to the freeway, but that was a lie because the scene was marked with footprints of more than one person. I feel really bad because the shock spread across our whole family tree. I cried and cried wishing that all of this had never happened. I wanted god to make a miracle to stop my family from suffering. After he died, my aunt and uncle kept visiting his grave. The whole family told them to worry about the living right now because they still have a family to care for. Yet I don’t think they took this advice.
ReplyDeleteNow I feel as though all of my family had a power outage. All of my family just went silent for a while, which to me looks like this all happened too sudden. My family still cries for him, and they all see him in their dreams. With the same clothes, hair, and face telling them that he is fine.
One day my mom was going to have my little sister, so than my dad took my mom to the hospital. And me and my other sister we were with my dad’s sister. I was so scared because I was feeling like if my mom and my baby sister were going to die. So after that the doctor called my aunt and my aunt answer. I heard my aunt that she started to cry because I heard that my baby sister and my mom were going to die. Or they needed to choose who to die. My aunt she loved us a lot even my mom and she was so sad about it, and then I started crying with my aunt. We both were so sad. I didn’t wanted them to died. By that time me and my aunt we were praying for them, we got a called from the doctor again, he said that he didn’t know what happen but that my sister and my mom were going to live. I screamed so loud because I was so happy. Than my parents got home with my baby sister Arianna and I carried her. I was so excited because it was my first time I carried a baby.
ReplyDeleteI was so excited as soon as my eyes opened a rush of energy went through me. I got out of bed as if there was a hungry animal behind me. Which was weird I always sleep in during the weekends. But today was different we were going to visit my grandma and grandpa. We can’t visit them much they live in the suburbs in Palatine, Illinois.
ReplyDeleteWe had to travel for at least a whole hour. I felt so excited. Our truck broke down so we went my dad’s truck. What a relief I thought our trip was canceled. But all of us could not fit in it. I was squished the minute I got in imagine when I’m older. We got there in an hour my legs felt dead. But I still had fun. When it was all over I was so tired. Then my legs where squished again then I was relived to get off the truck. I fell asleep the minute I laid on the bed. I woke up with my legs sore.
Two years ago we had a block party I woke up and started to help my mom on the food, I was so excited I wanted to jump of happiness because not only was block party it was the fourth of July. One hour latter we went outside to cook the food on the grill. So when that was finish I was so nerves I couldn’t what that much time.so everything turn out fine.
ReplyDeleteOne time my mom told us that her dad was coming from Mexico so me and my brothers got excited that he was coming and they said he was coming on Friday so when Friday came I told my mom when was he and she said she doesn’t know when he is coming so like about 50 minutes some body called my mom through the cell phone and told her that they cached him in the border so my mom said why and they said because he can’t pass to the united states and that my mom had to pay 1,000 dollars to let him go so in about a week my mom got all the money she needed and my uncles gave some money to and that’s how he came
ReplyDeleteMy mom and my dad were going to invite their relatives and I haven’t seen them since a long time I was really excited. My parents told me to help them clean the house I said ok. Then my mom came to my room because I was there cleaning my room she told me that she forgot to tell me that they were going to stay in the house for 2 weeks I was really happy. When they came to the house I showed theme around the house. Then later on that day we had a small party I was so confused because I forgot that I had to buy a cake for the small party and I forgot about the party. We had a good time in the party but there were no cake.
ReplyDeleteIt was Saturday afternoon we went to party I was so excited to go to the party I begged my mom to go to the party early so that I could play to the bouncing house .And so we went to the party and all the people were coming and then the people were eating so I went to eat. All the people were starting to dance. But just then somebody call my mom in her cell phone and told her that her cousin died ,then my mom started to cry and I felt bad about t her because my mom knew him since when she was little.
ReplyDeleteIt happen when it was my baby’s Birthday well we went to sleep my ant call an said that my grandpa past away so I was sad i did not cry I cry in side my maid I was not talking to anyone years past buy I now talk to them because I said to my maid that god taking go care or them ….
ReplyDeleteThe day before my 12 birthday my ants dad past away I was so sad that I cried. The next day was my birthday and was sad that my ant was not going to my birthday. I tried to forget about what happened. The next day we went to the funeral everyone was wearing black it was a very sad day.
ReplyDeleteit was a beautiful day and we went to buy more school clothes and more jeans pans and weaned I turned around there was cousin and we all buy but not for long time they stayed and we weaned to best buy
ReplyDeleteIt was beautiful day, Fresh air, cloudy, and it wasn’t that hot. Well my sister had planned for us to go to the park all together with our family and her boyfriend well 2weeks ago she had found out she was pregnet! Well we were all very happy we had even planned were was going to be his little bed and his clothes and pampers till one day my sister had to go and do her an ultra sound I went with her. Well the next day we went I was so excited to hear his heart beat but then the lady and us couldn’t hear his little heart beat my sister and her boyfriend and I were crying. We didn’t even get a chance to hear his little heart beat I was so sad I wanted to get home so we did. The next 2days was his little funeral were all crying specially my sister and her boyfriend. Next my mom told me to pass out some white balloons so I did and asked my friend to pass out some cards that had my little nephews name and all his info. Well my sister had to put the little box inside I would wanted to know how terrible she felt I gave her a big a hug and tolled her “He will be alright and god took him for a reason“ She told me “thank you” So I grabbed a white flower and put it on his little grave. It was time to leave so we did and know I hope god has him in a good place :(.
ReplyDeleteIt was hot day , when I was getting out from school. And I was telling my friend Carol to hurry up! She was talking with her friends. Then , we were talking about the girl that my friend Carol hates because she thinks that my friend is talking bad things about her. A few minutes later , we got at the corner of the school. My brother was with his friend Henaro I was so nervous because I haven’t talk to him since the last past year , and at the time I was happy too. But when I was talking to him I almost couldn’t see his face because I was so nervous.
ReplyDeleteThere was a time when I found out that my grandfather had passed away .It was a cool night and then I saw my dad on his phone and then he went on the computer looking for a plane ticket to Mexico because my grandfather had passed and then I cried and cried .I was so sad especially my dad . But I was happy he was not in pane any more.
ReplyDeleteIt was July 14 and it was my birthday I was 10 already. My mom told me that we were going to have a party. I got so excited so I started to help my mom with the food she was sending me to the store a couple of times. I got mad because when I brought what she needed from the store she always said ‘’I forgot to tell you to bring this’’ so I needed to go back to the store and buy what she needed. It was 5 pm already my cousins and my aunts came I told them ‘’do you want something to drink’’ they said ‘’no thank you’’ so my aunts gave me presents I got so excited that I wanted to open them already but I wanted to wait until the party was done
ReplyDeleteThe day my mom left the keys in the car
ReplyDeleteOne day mi and my mom went to the store in the car so we got out of car and went inside of the store and then we were grabbing like a lot of thing’s and we went to the casher to pay so we got out of the store and then out at suddenly my mom said were are the keys and I told her you have them and then she said I think I left them on the car and I am like oh so what are going to do I said and I notice the window from the car was open and I was nerves because she left the keys in the car and I reach for the handle to open the door and I open the door from the car and then we started laughing.
One day while my family was sleeping we all woken up because our house phone was ringing a lot we didn’t what to we didn’t know that phone number so my brother answered when he hanged up he said the “hospital called” my responded “what did they want “my brother said the my uncle was in the hospital in he was hurt because while he was coming back from work some people punched him and kicked him “I was so upset my mom too she bursted into tears she said that can’t be happening then she told my brother to called the hospital back to say in what hospital we called and got the location he was in my mom went my but my mom stayed in the hospital my dad came back. I thought poor mom I wonder how she is feeling. I was so upset and worried and tired I went back to sleep my dad woke us up like at even dough I didn’t want to I had to
ReplyDeleteIt was my birthday and I was running, jumping, crying, and taking all the time with my sister. That day I was planning to go to the park and play with my cousins I was so excited about going to park. My mom said ‘ you can go to the park and with your cousins. The when I came back I was so refreshed out. The my mom said I need you help I need you to go to the store and de some chip but does dig once also get some tortillas because we do not have so and some soda I was so happy because I was going de my sister. Then when I came back with me sister and they surprised us it was really aswome.
ReplyDeleteIt was my birthday I was very excited that I was running, jumping, and telling everyone in the house. That day was the happy day in my life because it was when I was going to be with my friends and with my family. My mom was doing my favorite dish. Later that day the party was starting I was excited, but when I saw that my friends where not coming, I was sad. But then I hear a nock in the door it was my friends and some of my cousins I haven’t seen for a long time, and have the time to be with them again. We where playing tag and then we ate cake .I will never forget that day.
ReplyDeleteTrinidad Ruiz
ReplyDeleteIn September, 2 it was my gramps birthday and we went to México. I was so happy I wanted to cry but when I got there everything went wrong. First my gramps was sick and then we took him to the doctor. My mom said we have to go back no mom please no. Then the doctor said he is going to be well. My mom said please or I am not going to bring you... more hour please okay. Then the doctor said he is going to die we started to cry. Then he did not have anything we did a party to celebrate and I was so happy I cry
It was just a regular day outside, Until something caught
ReplyDeleteMy eye it was a bird and it was all alone felt sorry for the
Bird, but I went outside and put some bird food in a little
Cage and put the bird in. so a couple of weeks later the
Bird was growing big I felt relived I saved the bird because
It would be alone so I let flew away I felt happy for the bird
Going back too it’s family.
It was a day when I was riding bikes with my friend and he got ran over I was really scared I wanted to cry. When he was on the grass I asked, him” if he was alright.” He didn’t answer at all. He had fainted I wanted to cry and I did. People call the ambulance right away. They took him to the Hospital I was worry he might die but he didn’t. I was really happy I cried.
ReplyDeleteWhen my dod was slipping I throw water at him than he woked and bit me so I got mad and I kicked him at the face and I throw him out of my house
ReplyDeleteThe day we ran out of gas in the express way.
ReplyDeleteThe day we ran out of gas was September /4/2011 when we were heading to Michigan we were going almost getting out of the express way until the truck turn off I was really scared when the truck didn’t turn on i was scared because it’s really dark not that much light it was by the corn field it was like a forest I almost cried when our cousin found us in the truck that place got me nervous at first
It was a day when I was riding bikes with my friend and he got ran over I was really scared I wanted to cry. When he was on the grass I asked, him” if he was alright.” He didn’t answer at all. He had fainted I wanted to cry and I did. People call the ambulance right away. They took him to the Hospital I was worry he might die but he didn’t. I was really happy I cried.
ReplyDeleteI was happy as it was Christmas time. My grandpa was sick, but we all knew he was a fighter. He was sick for ten years and got better, cool right? He looked okay, but I was sad and worried. He probably felt bad and he was weak. I had visited him and he seemed okay. We left and got a terrible phone call. He was looking very bad. I wanted to leave because I was too sad to see him go.
ReplyDeleteI cried, because I knew what was going to happen. Then we got the last phone call.
“What did it say mom?” I asked. She shook her head and I knew he was gone. I was happy because after ten years of suffering he was now okay. I know he is happy.
I remember the time when I went to my grandma’s house for vacation in Indiana. I was so happy about that. We went in the house and we ate the food. It smelled so good. We went outside to see the dogs. Then I felt queasy and I said “mom I want to throw up”. I went inside and I threw up in the bathroom, in the toilet. I was so sick. I got a fever and I couldn’t eat anything. Then my mom gave me a medication and I threw up again and I got better. I felt so relieved because I’ve never liked throwing up in someone else house like my grandmas. So that was the Day when I went to grandma’s house and threw up.
ReplyDeleteFour years ago , My brother, sister, and step dad were watching the TV. We heard really loud bangs on our door I was really scared. What a relief it was my cousin but something horrible had happen her house was on fire which was really weird because we lived in the same apartment. Then we went outside and saw her house on fire and the firefighters putting it out, I was really worried because my aunt was crying and also pregnant of my baby cousin. After the fire was out there was nothing else to do because all my aunt`s furniture clothes TV`s were all burned or gone. After that she went to live with my uncle. We stilled lived there for like a year but then moved. When I look back on that day I feel really scared that one day our house will be on fire.
ReplyDeleteTwo years ago we were having a party I was playing with my friends the phone starts to ring I passed by it and just for playing around I did not answer. My mom comes she calls it back I stared at my mom and she has a upset look I said is “something wrong” she said “no mi hijo” I got worried too much . she went to the room and started to cry. My dad came he said what is wrong “don Jube had passed away “ I started to cry I went and huged my mom I told her “why did you not told me he died” she said “I did not want to get you upset”. “I said it is alright” then I go lay down and don’t even think about it. R.I.P DON JUBE
ReplyDeleteOne day when I came back to school my mom told me that his dad has just passed away. I was sad because he had a slow and pain full death. He couldn’t see he had two holes in his back and he had diebties. I went to do my homework in the living room when I came back to the kitchen she was crying I left her alone.
ReplyDeleteI remember when I first got my dog . I was so excited and happy because I always wanted a dog ,when we got her home she right away sneaked away and went to hide my sister and I looked for her untill we found her behind the stove my sister my mom and I were laughing . Finally we had to get her out so I tried pulling her out with my hand and I could’nt so we used a broom when we got her out I wrapped my arms around her and gave her a hug I felt really glad that I had a dog of my own .I spent my afternoon playing with her untill it was night and my mom said “lla ve a dormir te” and I told her okay kind of upset but I still listened to her. Remembering this day from right now I know that im happy and gladly I still have good times with my dog mimi.
ReplyDeleteIt was a beautiful Summer day. The really bright sun was out, and my family and I at my Aunt’s house. It was her brithday, and we were there to celebrate a little family party. My mom and her sisters were at the kitchen, while my cousins and I were watching a scary movie. I was super scared n terrefied! Actually all of us were terrefied! When my cousin paused the movie, I went over to check what was going on at the kitchen. I went to go check and I see my mom and aunts’ crying. So I ask ‘’Mom? What’s going on?!’’ I felt worried to hear what they are going to say. My mom answered ‘’Umm, well your gradma is sick rite now. They said she is sick in the heart of some desease. I got so sad. I was about to cry just watching my aunt talking to my gradma n my mom crying! After talking to my gradma, we tried at least to send money to Mexicoto buy her medicen, and just at least enjoy our little party. 3 or 2 weeks later passed n my gradma called n had said that her doctor told her she is getting better! We were so relieved! I was so happy to hear that, we all felt full of joy! Well all that matters is that she is okkay!
ReplyDeleteA week ago I was with my friends skateboarding they told me if I know how to skateboard
ReplyDeleteI said a little and they said to do a trice I thought of it then I was going fast
Then I got the skateboard to go up and bam’ I hit my lip in the cement
Blood came out running from my lip I went running home and then it stop.
We were on Christmas vacations and we were in Mexico with my great grandmother and great grandfather aunt and uncle. Then when we had to leave because school had already started and we still did not have the papers we were waiting for when we left I was so sad we had to leave because I had never seen them since first grade .Then one day when we were doing our homework my mom received a phone call from Mexico and I was so excited but when my mom told about it she said that my great grandfather was in the hospital I was so sad. Then about two weeks passed we were watching TV my received another phone call then when she hanged up she was crying then my little sister went to see what was happening then my little sister said that my great grandfather had passed away I did not know what to do so I just stared watching TV put I do not worry a lot because now I know he is in a better place.
ReplyDeleteLast week my dad told me to come in the room.
ReplyDelete“Son come in here!”he said excitedly.
“Whats goin on I said?”I said as if I thought I was in trouble.
“Your favorite show is coming back to FOX.”he said.
“Yes!”I said happily.
My favorite show was TWO AND A HALF MEN. I used to watch it everyday.
“But they made one little change.”he said.
“The new Charlie Sheen is Ashton Kutcher.”he said.
I was both mad and happy.Two and a Half Men without Charlie Sheen is like a peanut butter jelly sandwich without peanut butter, or jelly.I did some research on this & I heard for the first season they are going to make Charlie Sheen’s death.Then on September 13, 2011, at 11:00 PM I watched CONAN until 12:00 PM. They made fun of it and made Allen from Two and a Half Men die. They first brought him out as water boy.then when he left he was texting and a dead FAKE cow atatched to arope fell on his head. Now that I think about it I can’t wait until Two and a Half Men comes out. By the way it comes out September 19, 2011, so make sure you watch it.
ONCE WAS RELLY HAPPY CAUSE ME AND MY MOM WERE GONA GO SHOPPING WE DO GO SHOPING BUT ONLY WITH MY DAD AND I LOVE GOING SHOPING BUT I LOVE IT MORE WHEN THERES ONLY ME AND HER .ME AND HER WENT TO K-MART AND GOT SOME STUFF I\RELLY WAS HAPPY BUT AT THE SAME TIME KIND OF SAD BECAUSE WILL I WANTED A SHIRT BUT THEY ONLY HAD IT IN A MEDIUME AND LARGE AND I AM A SMALL I GOT SAD CAUSE I WANTED THE SHIRT BUT LIFE WILL GO ON.SO WE WENT TO T-J-MAX AND GOT SOME RELLY PRETTY DRESSES WE WENT ON WITH LIFE AND WENT FROM STORE TO STORE.
ReplyDeleteBut all of a sudden my mother got a call I thought she had to go back to work I was going to get rely sad but no instead it was my dad he came back from work and my mom told him he could come with us tm face changed color and mood I was sad I thought me and her were gone spend the day together but no I got rely sad so I was meds the rest of the day because me and my mom never germ time together with all her jobs and now she has time to spend time with me she ruined it and I was mad
I was in vaction with my family and aunt and cousins.I was so happy to be with them because I never went on vaction with them.We were going to ride a roller coaster me my sister and aunt and cousins.
ReplyDeleteI was kind of nervous because I don’t really like roller coasters.When I was in like I kept looking at my sister but I wanted to do ride the roller coaster because I want to tell my cousins I can get on because they always say ‘you’re a scardy cat’ but im not.
We all got in the cart and I wasn’t that nervous then because I knew it was going to befun. The ride started and I was exsited.We started to go up and I saw there was a big drop.in my mind I started to think ‘don’t drop don’t drop’.
We droped and I was going to fall off my seat ,it was going so fast. Up and down side to side it was crazy we were really high.’AAA’ my cousin was screaming I could hear her because she was right in front and I was in the second cart.I tried not to scream so instead I started to laugh my sister did to. We got off and it was hard to stand and my sisters hair was everywhere. ‘Ha ha ha’ we all laughed at her. ‘Was it fun’ my mom said .’Yes ‘ I told her.
The time I had to move from school it was hard I was so nervous that when I entered the classroom I was shaking every bone on my body was I just kept on walking towards not knowing no one in the class I thought I was going to cry but just then a girl had touched my back and told me it was alright just then the teacher had told everyone we have a new student my hopes went up I had new friend and new teachers and I always be In this school until 8 grade.
ReplyDeleteI remember, when I was 8 yrs.old I was riding my bike but,it would only go forward! I was laughing because that has never happened before but I also hada weird feeling.Every time I try to move my my bike backwards it would get stuck,I was so mad I didn’t know what to do. I was getting more angry because I couldn’t ride my bike the right way!!I was so worried that I might never be able to ride my bike!I was so angry already,that I just got off the bike & threw it on the floor! I went inside & told my big brother! My brother came outside to see what was wrong. He looked at my bike & started laughing. I told him ‘’why are you laughing at me’’? He didn’t want to tell me, why he was laughing. So I begged & begged until he told me. Finally,he told me & when he told me he said ‘’look at your tire’’! So I did & when I look at my tire it’s flat,I started laughing at myself!!
ReplyDeleteA couple of weeks ago we got a call from my grandpa saying that they had to go to the hospital because my grama was very sick. When my mom told me I just wanted to burst into tears I started thinking to myself what if she passed away. I felt so sad I wanted to cry even more. My grandpa called again he said she had tumors in her stomach. I felt so worried I started thinking the worst. I couldn’t sleep that night I felt a twist in my stomach. In the morning my mom told me that my grama got out of the hospital and she was ok. I felt relieved to know she was ok. After that she said but she will need surgery. I felt worried again what if the surgery went wrong, I thought to myself. A few days later she went into surgery it going to be ok I thought to myself. Then my mom told me that she is fine ant the surgery went great. I was so happy everything was ok! My grama is great but she is in bed rest. I didn’t care because all I cared about is that she was ok.
ReplyDeleteLast Sunday me and my friend Angie and Ashley like I would say my little sisters. We were talking about how the lady who lived upstairs was very nosy. “Isabel there’s something I got to tell you” I could tell by the look on her face it was nothing good . ”What is it “ Tears the size of rain drops came out of her eyes “were moving” she said barely having enough strength to say it “what!!!!!” trying hard not to cry I let a big tear. I felt like my life was over. “Why you don’t have to” “My dad can’t stand living with Gloria “she said angrily. “NO”. I stopped crying gave them a hug and left
ReplyDeleteIt was a sunny morning,I was helping my mom in the laundry room,and my dad was out in the garage working on his car.Then my dad came in holding a black and white furry ball.At first I was starteled,but then I saw that it was a bunny.My dad told me we could keep it,suddenly I felt a burst of excitement,my first pet!’What should I name it?’,I thought to myself.The past days I had a lot of fun with it.My mom said that we had to give it away because we did not have enough money to afford his food,I felt a not in my throat ,then started crying.After we gave it away I realized that he was in a better home were they can feed it,and that it is not easy taking care of a living thing./=
ReplyDeleteIt was a nice October day.I was so excited because it was Halloween and we were going to have a halloween party.We had invited a lot of people.Itwas 6:30 and all the people started coming. We played games and gave out prizes.We ate cupcake and we broke a punkin pinata and a vampire one.It was 12:00 and everyone started leaving. It was only my family and my neighboors outside.We asked my neighboors if they would let there daughter Nancy have a sleep over and they let her. It got late and we went inside.It was my sister Gisel,my neighboor Nancy and me. I was super excited because we asked my parents if we could sleep in the attic and they said yes. My attic was not that scary but you could always hear people even if there was no one there.
ReplyDeleteI was actually scared to go sleep up there. We got our things and we went. We were all nervouse something was going to pop out. I was really scared. I thought I saw shadows and all those creppy things.i kepped telling my sister that I was watching things. Then my sister said wats that and I said what what and she said that and she said BOO !!!!!!!!!!
I screamed so loud and I ran out .i was soo scared my heart was pounding fast. I ran to my house and went in. And that was one of the scariest days ever. And I never went to sleep up there again.
It was the middle of summer , and I got a call from my godmother . she said that my godfather was felling kind of sick, because he drank something hot that he wasn’t suppose to . it made his stomach hurt. So I was not really interested . I thought in my head everybodys stomch hurts sometimes. So we got a call from her a week later saying that they took my godfather to the doctor , because his stomach was still hurting. She said she had bad news and she was crying she said they found a tumer in his liver. Me and my dad were sad I couldn’t belive it. I was crying so bad that I could flood the room. We were hopeing he would get better. So after that a week later they said that he was doing better . we were relifed . my godfather is such a nice guy what did he do wrong. Why dose it have to happen to him . then a couple of weeks past . were thinking he is doing exallent , but then we got another phone call .
ReplyDeleteMy god mother said “they found another tumer and he is dying , because he has cancer, and another tumer in his body”. Me and my dad droped in tears , we didn’t belive it . I could only say that he his the only man that I ever met to be a strong man and brave to go though everything.
It was saturday when It started to rain and It was my sister birthday it then It got sunny.Please don’t rain its my sister birthday I said in a worried way.The clouds were not leting the sun shine.Come on every Saturdays have to rain I said .We were going to have her party in are yard but the we had to the garage.I felt so stupid having her party there.I cant take partys in the garage .I hate it so badly I feel like if we were poor.Anyway It started to rain so hard I always had to run as fast as I could.My shirt was getting wet and I stayed home always thinking we should never had partys in the garage.
ReplyDeleteOne day I woke up and It was rainig really bad.That day It was my little brother birthday ,we already had everything ready for him ballons and the decaration .Our basement was flooded really bad all of our stuff got wet. We try to sweep it all out but it took 4 hours to get evrything clean and dry.I was praying to god that the day was going yo turn out nice and sunny guesse what it did I felt so relieve and happy.I guesse all the hard work and the time that I felt down on the stairs and hit my back bone.I have never felt the pain Iwas in at that time.I couldn’t walk for the whole daybut Imanage to pull through for my little brother.The party went out great he had fun and we even broke the pinata we had a really good time everything work out perfectly like we wanted I even forgot my pain until my little brother hit me with the stick to hit the pinata .
ReplyDeleteit was my birthday and there was one thing that I wanted for my birthday and my mother was having a party for me but I was sick on my own birthday well everyone was having fun accept for me because I was sick I was very sad so then it was time to do the dance contest that we do every year for each of our birthdays so all of my friends and family come up to dance I don’t know what to do im so sick but everyone wants me to dance but I don’t want to so my mom says I don’t have to dance I just
ReplyDeleteit was morning I woke up felling excited, but did not remember why. I went down stairs and found my mom she was excited to. I was so fustrated because I could no find out why my mom and I were so excited.I was thinking so hard my brain hurt.Then just like that I remembered why I was excited. I ran right up to the calender. Now I so excited my stomach hurt.” Are going to six flags” I scream with joy.
ReplyDeleteI am going to tell you a short stoty about my life i remember a time when I was 10 years old.I was so happy but very happy to see my dad.because I never seen my dad in my life but now that I was 10 years old my dad sall me my family and I whent to chucke cheeses so I could se my dad at the north side because my dad yoused to work there so I was so exided my mom said ‘’jasmine come on so we could go already ‘’.i said ‘’ok mom ‘’. My mom said are you ready’’ I anwer her back and I said ‘’yes I am ready mom’’.ok lets go I sall my dad and my dad said ‘’hello what is your name’’.
ReplyDeleteIt was two years ago in the one month before my grandmas birthday.i was excited because my uncle junior was coming and all my cousin,ants,uncles everyone was coming to my grandmas birth day.on the day of the party every one was drinking just a little not to much.and ther was music and tons of food and drinks.me and my cousins where outside and we were playing football and I was QB because everyones arm hurted so I had to be QB.after that we were doing races and it was my cousin zion,junito,and me all my little cousins where slow except two.there names are little jerry and josh they are preety fast they can already catch up with me.everyone was hurt because of the football game.then we went up stairs and went to my cousins apatment.the good thing was thatmy cousin lives right above my grandmawe played some video games and then we went down stairs because we hered screaming.i went donw stairs because no one wanted to lose there turn and went I did my uncle junior had fell on my grandma and hurt his hip went to the hospital and when he got back he got sick and he didn’t feel so good after two months we got a call I was excited but then I didn’t he said ‘I am going to die and I just wanted you to know I love you.the next day we got a call that he died the day after he called us
ReplyDelete“Hello”
ReplyDelete“Mi hijo tu padre a fajesido, “my grandma told my dad so sad.
“Como, eso no puede pasar,” my dad told my grandma.
I was sad because my told what had happen. When it happened we were having a party but it wasn’t a party because my grandpa had just passed away. My dad was crying so much that I went to go hug him but it was really sad hugging him. I started to cry too because I liked my grandpa so much I was so surprised that he passed away.
“Do you want something from the store,” my cousin said with his big mouth.
“No,” I screamed back at him.
“Core le,” my dad told me so I hugged him and went to the store.
When I came back my dad wasn’t sad any more so I played around with my brother and cousins.
“Here go and open it in your room and then come” my uncle said at my birthday party.
ReplyDelete“Ok?” I said confused.
“Choose one pretty” my aunt told me with a smile in her face. “Could it be ? Is he going to buy my dog? I thought. I ran to my room like a lighting. I was so excited and happy.
“OMG!!!!!” I said with a big smile. I read the note and it said “ I will buy you your dog feel free choose whatever kind you desire” I began to cry and ran to hug my uncle. I felt so happy and emotional because I ben begging my parents to buy me one. “I could not believe what just happen” I thought to myself.
It was Christmas Eve morning, and the time was coming for me to open the presents. I had much fun just thinking about that. What a bunch of excitement! My mom told me that we were going to my sister’s house in a while to go countdown to midnight. Yes, I thought to myself, I’m actually going to have fun! As time went by I saw it was 6:00 P.M and it was time to head out. The white snow was covering the ground like a blanket. I then remembered that her house was in the north side! Aargh! I cried in my mind. But we got there quickly and it was barely 7:00 P.M, usually we got there by 8:00. I was exuberant and so I got out the mini van’s silver doors and ran to the front. I called my sisters condominium number which was 13. She answered and opened the door for us. Yes, we made it! I knocked on her door and she opened. I saw the HUGE Christmas tree standing proudly on the wooden floor along with the pretty fireplace. Millions of gifts mounted next to it and I saw that 17 of them were mine. WHAT!? I GOT 17 GIFTS!? And those weren’t even including the ones my other 2 sisters had got me and the one my dad and mom got me. I had 40 something in total. I made a gingerbread house with my little niece and we played around with the gift, shaking them to see what was inside. In no time it was 12:00 midnight and we opened the gifts. I had gotten every single thing I wanted and I was proud. Yes, I got the things I wanted! And I was excited to think that my new baby brother was going to be part of this all next year! Now that I look back I think of the happiness in him and the gifts I got. I am one lucky girl to have so many gifts. Including my little brother, Miguel.
ReplyDeleteI was jumping all over the room like a baby kangaroo then I was lying down for a little bit then… I saw that my sock had a red dot growing and growing I called my dad to see if he knew what it was but he help my brother with something I was a was scared I almost fainted then my dad came he helped me he putted me in the couch then he took of my sock I was blading all over my foot “what happened ,why are blading “my dada said really scared “I don’t know “ I said also scared he took me the bathroom where there was a lot of light the I filed the tub with blood I was supper scared I felt much more scared then girls screaming when they see a ghost. My dad saw what I headed in my foot …it was a piece of glass I told my dad to just put me a bandage then they took me to the doctor my mom was there they putted me a with thing in my foot the doctor came he told my dad that I will not need surgery because I was too little then the doctor came aging he putted my foot in bucket of water then I heard a THUMP the piece of glass was of my foot I was so relived then they wiped of the blood they grabbed this little green bag I did not what it was so I told them what it was they told me it was some kind of glue to stick back on my skin then we went back home I was really tired I just had a cast on my foot thank god I was not in a bad shape then I went back to sleep with no pain.
ReplyDelete2 years ago it was Christmas Eve I was so excited that we could open our presents. As me and my family do every year we wait until 12:00 then at that time we knew it was Christmas. I just couldn’t wait. I was so excited. Yesterday that when I told mom if I could sleep in the living room with my older sister. I slept on the couch next to the Christmas tree. My younger sister Evelyn also slept in the living room for today. We both decide to quietly shake the presents we both laughed quietly. But I just wanted to open them so I broke a little of the wrapping paper so I could see what It was. I wondered if it was yu-gi-oh cards. Then me and my sister found a big one. We both reached for it but I just couldn’t resist so I broke a little of the raping paper. Then we I looked at the clock it was twelve o’ clock. So we all passed out the presents
ReplyDeleteJune.21,2011 was skateboarding day and skateboarding pros were going
ReplyDeleteTo be at a skate park.It was a boring day only me and my sister Karina were home.
I told her that “ today was skate day!” I told we should go to the skate park.
She said “okay”. She was exicited to go too.I thought she was exicited to see her boyfriend
because he was already there. So I rushed to get my my phone and call my friend. I told him if
he wanted to go with us he said”sure”he was happy.We were so exicited that are skin jump.
We went to the train to get there.It took awhile we skate for a little and then went back on
track while we were going there we seen bunch of people skating too.Finally we got to the
skate park I seen all my friends from my block they were already there.We all went to skate
it was so fun that I almost fell cause too exicited.It was time to go so we got my dads car
and went back home my sister boyfriend went with us too.It was a nice day at skate
day.
Saturday morning was the day that I was so excited because it was the day that I was going to see my brother graduate. I was so happy for my brother from a little kid he was going to become in high school. Once he walked passed the teachers I was so happy that I cried and cried. I wasn’t sad just so happy to see him with his big blue gown and his cap and then as he got his deploma I was happy for him. He’s going to be a big boy. When they called his name the only thing I could think about was when we had all those memorys in my head I was so happy that I couldn’t stop I knew that my mom felt the same as I did you could tell in her eyes. Once they put their hat to the side was when every body started to cry with tears of joy they were clapping with excitement and so was I
ReplyDeleteThe day I was excited was when I was getting ready for my birthday party all my friends were going to be there so I was wondering what am I going to do when they get here I felt so worried even though it was just a party what if they thought it was boring then “ding dong!” they were here! As I heard that doorbell my stomach got in a knot I felt really sick but I opened the door they were all smiling and said “Happy Birthday!!” so I let them in then we started doing all these activities they said they were having so much fun so I started to feel a little better and then we started the games we probably played all the games I had so then they really were having a great time so I automatically felt way better, then we had cake and opened my presents and it got late so they left saying it was a great party so I felt so happy.
ReplyDeleteIt was The fourth of July. I wanted to light up a fire cracker. For some reason my mom was giving all the boys a haircut in the driveway. Then it was my turn. I was mad because I was having with my family. When she was almost done… boom! A fire cracker had blown up on my ankle. It hurted a lot . I felt like crying but for some strange reason I didn’t. I forgot who it was but he came up to me and said.
ReplyDelete“Im sorry” he said
“ its
There was this time in second grade I was eating lunch with my best friends Abigail and Guadalupe and Marlen I was next to Abigail I pressed the ketchup really hard I thru some to Abigail she stared at me we were looking at each other .
ReplyDeleteShe said “mi mama me ba a pegar”
I started to laugh real loud my stomach started to hurt I started to coughing .
Abigail said “what’s so funny”
I said “how you said “mi mama me va a pegar.
It was the next day .
Abigail said “mi mama me pego”
I said your weird then she said your weird and we kept going on and on.
As my friend’s dad comes up the road. I felt so excited that my hearth just might come out. I call my sister she was also coming with me though she wasn’t with me at that very moment she was with my cousin. As I was going on top of the car I felt shy or maybe even embarrassed. Even though I knew my friend’s mom, dad and her aunt as well. We stop in front of a house it was my other friend that was also coming, at that moment I felt a little bit better. I could tell that all of us were nervous because nobody else talked or did anything. We stop one more time this time I didn’t know who it was I think it was another aunt and her son I wasn’t sure. Then again I felt excited and nervous so my stomach was mess up. It took about 2 hours to get there we started to watch a movie in the car. Now I felt really sick and I needed to go to the restroom. But the air conditioner was cooling off some of my sickness. When I got there I wasn’t feeling sick anymore I was sure that I was sick I saw those people on the rides they were flipping I felt really sick. When I got out of the car I felt cooler and I was just excited. We brought the silent when we got out of the car we started to talking about which ride to ride. That’s how I felt after being in the car for 2 whole hours.
ReplyDeleteIt was my birthday and everyone was there so my mom decided we should cut the cake. When she brought the cake I was so happy I felt like giving her a million kisses. After we ate the cake I asked my mom when I was going to open my presents she said after the piñata. When it was my turn to hit it I hit it so hard it broke after we got the candy we went inside. Finally my mom said ‘’it’s time for you to open your presents’’. When I open everyone’s presents except my mom’s I had 180 dollars. When my mom brought up a box I wondered what it was in it. When I opened it a black and white cat came out. When I grabbed him my whole body filled with joy. He was so big and fluffy. Next my mom brought up a cute little puppy. Then I got even happier. When I opened my last present I got a cell phone. After that everyone left. After I played with them I went to sleep.
ReplyDeleteThe sun
ReplyDeleteWe were in my house we were in the air conditioner for about five minutes. We were fighting who could stay the longest outside in the sun. We both betted $5.00
Are you ready to start crying.
I’m goanna beat you even if it takes me 100 times.
123 go.
Aw it burns it felt like flames covering around me.
Aw it feels like lava I don’t care I could live like this for ever
On a sunny afternoon my family decided that we should go to an aquarium. I felt so exited I could not wait so after we packed water we left .
ReplyDelete“Wow” said my sisters.
“remember, don’t touch any thing” said my dad.
after we got in we saw many aquatic animals like dolphins and seals.
I felt very happy because I never saw those animals in my life.
“let’s go over there “said my mom
So we went over there and I saw some type of fish that had brown spots.
I felt scared because that fish looked creepy.
After we saw some more animals my family decided to go home.
The day I was excited was when I was getting ready for my birthday party all my friends were going to be there so I was wondering what am I going to do when they get here I felt so worried even though it was just a party what if they thought it was boring then “ding dong!” they were here! As I heard that doorbell my stomach got in a knot I felt really sick but I opened the door they were all smiling and said “Happy Birthday!!” so I let them in then we started doing all these activities they said they were having so much fun so I started to feel a little better and then we started the games we probably played all the games I had so then they really were having a great time so I automatically felt way better, then we had cake and opened my presents and it got late so they left saying it was a great party so I felt so happy.
ReplyDeleteIt was last Christmas, when I was excited.
ReplyDeleteMy Mom called me and my sister, she was going to tell us about what are Dad was going to buy us for Christmas.
So she told us,`` Antonio your going to get a playstation3``, I was exciter than someone that was going to get something better than me. Crystal your going to get the Wii, my Mom said. Oh yeah she said.
It was my birthday .I was so happy but then I was still tied because last night I couldn’t go to sleep because I knew it was going to be my birthday today. So I went back to sleep. After an hour or two of going back to sleep I got out of my bed. Went to my little sisters room and did the same thing she did to me I woke her up and said
ReplyDelete“Ha-ha it’s my birthday and not yours,” I said happily.
“What are you doing I only did that you because I wanted to your doing it to me because you wanted revenge” my little sister said madly
I was so happy for the rest of the day I love it when on my birthday people keep calling me telling me happy birthday or what do you want for your birthday .But the only one that sings happy birthday to me over the phone is my grandpa . I love him so much and my birthday.
“Paola! Hurry up were going to six flags and you don’t want to miss it!” shouted my mom.
ReplyDelete“I’ll be right there!” I shouted back.
When I got out of the house the warm sun was beating down on me. My godfather was tacking my family and his to six flags. This was my first time going to six flags so I didn’t know what to expect.
I got in my dad’s car put on my seatbelt and he drove off fallowing my godfather’s car.
“What do think we will see?” I asked my little brother.
“I don’t why are asking me?” he replied in a frustrated tone.
“I don’t know? I’m just so excited to finally go to six flags!” I said merrily.
“Yes! I finally pass this level!” He shouted. “This boss was really hard to defeat!”
“In what game?” I asked. He always has a lot of games only he never lets me play them. That always makes me feel left out.
2:30 p.m. the clock read. We just parked in the parking lot by six flags. There were so many fun things I filled will glee.
“Let’s go to that waving pool over there!” My little brother protested.
“Yea let’s go!” I said agreeing with him. ”Please! “I begged.
2 years ago, me and my family were getting ready for thanks giving . We were very happy and very thank full. Every year me and my family get together to eat dinner and pray to god . it was time to sit and pray .All the sudden the house phone starts to ring .“I will get it mom” I said . “ok” my mom said. I quickly ran into the living room. “hello”? I said “hi” can I speak with your mom”? “yeah! sure she right here” hold on I said.” Mom it’s for you”! My mom said ok she graved the phone from my hand and said “hello?” I felt like some thing bad was going to happen .After a wile on the phone my mom came in the kitchen . She had a face like if she seen a ghost .”Hey something wrong”? she didn’t answer” jesus” she said to my dad .”yes?” your great Granma died today . my dad when to his room and I followed him .”dad you allright”? after a wile he told my his storied and how much she did for my dad.i felt like crying and I was ok with the fact she is in peace
ReplyDeleteDeath, tears, sobbing that’s all there, was in the room .We got the call that my mom dad had passed away. It was my grandma that called my mom to tell her that dad had died. My mom my brother and my sisters all were crying ,but I wasn’t I didn’t know him . All I know is that he was my mom dad.
ReplyDeleteThe day I was excited was when I was getting ready for my birthday party all my friends were going to be there so I was wondering what am I going to do when they get here I felt so worried even though it was just a party what if they thought it was boring then “ding dong!” they were here! As I heard that doorbell my stomach got in a knot I felt really sick but I opened the door they were all smiling and said “Happy Birthday!!” so I let them in then we started doing all these activities they said they were having so much fun so I started to feel a little better and then we started the games we probably played all the games I had so then they really were having a great time so I automatically felt way better, then we had cake and opened my presents and it got late so they left saying it was a great party so I felt so happy.
ReplyDeleteIt was a sunny Sunday. One you could never forget. The sun was at its brightest. The clouds looked like they had smiles on their faces, as if they were grinning down at us with their big warm wide smiles. The sky was such a beautiful blue, that you could only dream of in daydreams.
ReplyDeleteWe were celebrating my uncle Rene coming from California, his home. My whole family was at the party. The party took place at my aunt Chelita’s house. My aunt loved throwing party’s at her house. She especially loved when the whole family came. But what brightened up the whole celebration even more was that my great grandparent’s where there. I was so happy that finally my great grandparents could come to a party. Since my great grandfather’s diabetes problem started acting up he never got to come out of his house.
My family had started noticing that he was starting to forget things. Sometimes he would even forget his own children and say,”Darling who are you’’ in Spanish. Then they would remind him telling him they were his children. But when my grandfather would see my mother sister and me. He would say, “mijas como estan.’’ (meaning my children how are you.) We were always surprised that he remembered us instead of his own children. We were all grateful that we got to see him.
The day I felt excided and sad was when my brother Miguel came from high school with Ruby and he brought a tiny black puppy home.
ReplyDeleteMichelle and I got back from school and we wear talking to my mom about how was the first day of 5th grade. Then my Ruby came tapping on the door rely fast, and telling us to open it quick. I rushed to the door to open it , then Miguel s face pop out. Telling us that we had a new guest in the house . First I thought it was my cousins , But it was a tiny black puppy !!! Miguel had told us that his friend had a big dog that puppy s and gave Miguel one for free!!!! Days past and we had named her Candy. But one weak later we gave her away to my mom s friend I cried for 2 days. I still miss her now.
We were in the living room when my parents told me that we were going to go to the carnival by our house I said if we can go today my mom said tomorrow I wanted to go today I thought I couldn’t wait
ReplyDelete