Getting Personal in Your Personal Narrative Writing by Including Character Feelings and Reactions

Mrs. Novick is going to go over the process for posting in the blog with you. All of your writing is read by me (Mr. Barr) and given a grade. Your blog entries count as 10% of your Writing grade.

We will blog throughout the school year. I will post questions and you will share your thoughts and ideas in response in the appropriate area. When posting, please keep the following in mind:

~Please do not put your entire name. Please write your name as Jesus G. Room 302. This is posted on the internet and can be viewed by anyone. I want to ensure your safety.

~All comments go through me first. Your comment will not immediately post; I will post them. Any inappropriate comments will be deleted and will not be posted for viewing.

~Type what you are going to say in Microsoft Word first, use spell check, copy and paste it into the blog and then submit.

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I wrote a really short personal narrative that I’d like to share with you. It’s about when my car broke down one time in the school parking lot.

Yesterday, when I was leaving the school parking lot my car could go forward, but not backward. Then, all of a sudden, it worked! I drove out of the parking lot and down the street. Then, it made an odd noise and it stopped, right in the middle of the road. I quickly called for a tow truck.

Now. Look at this next one. It is the same story, but I added in my reactions and feelings. See if you can notice what is different about the writing of this small moment.

Yesterday, when I was leaving the school parking lot, I noticed my car was acting strangely. It could go forward, but not backward. I was worried. Then, all of a sudden, it worked! I drove out of the parking lot and down the street. What a relief! Then, it made an odd noise. Thump! It stopped, right in the middle of the road. I was so upset, I thought I might cry. “What am I going to do now?” I thought. I quickly called for a tow truck.


Assignment:

I want you to think about including character feelings and reactions in your writing. Remember that in order to get the highest score possible for a narrative, you need to have these types of character reactions and feelings. Retell a small moment paying close attention to character reactions and feelings.


Here is a student example from last year that earned full credit:
(I put her character reactions in bold)

brittany S. room 304 said...
Five years ago, I was helping my mom get ready for the Fourth of July. I was so excited that time was already here. We all knew that my uncle was really sick but we thought he was going to pull through because he was so strong and determined. I was happy that he might get better but I was also sad that he was sick and couldn't be here for the Fourth of July. I still kept my hopes up. Then as we were going to bed the hospital called and said that there was a drastic change and that he was doing better. I was so relieved. Then we all went to bed and we were just excited that he was doing better and that he might come around. Then just as we were going to bed and falling asleep we got another call from the hospital saying that he was doing really bad and that he might die tonight. After that we didn't sleep at all we just stayed up.I was so sad and was thinking of the worst. Then a couple hours later we got a call that he past. I was so sad that I started to cry, but yet I smiled because I knew that he wasn't suffering anymore. We knew that he was in a place far better than the place he was in.

* this was a small thing because we all knew that he was dying*.